Get thee behind me, satan!

The Movie: Ghost Rider, directed by Mark Steven Johnson
Recommendation: Broomie
Reason: I like comic book movies, and back when this project was first announced (in the early 90's) I was really hyped. Not so much anymore, but Broomie decided we should see it anyway.

Until some very recent successes, superhero comic book movies have been a bit of a joke. Before X-Men, Spiderman and Batman Begins we had Batman and Robin, a mediocre Punisher, and Judge Dredd. Ghost Rider fell into the latter category, combining bad acting with a boring, by-the-numbers plot, bad writing and an overabundance of special effects for the sake of having special effects.

Eva Mendes would probably do well to look into an acting lesson or eight. She was nearly as bad as Britney Spears in what little I've seen of Crossroads. She just doesn't seem to be very good at what she's trying to do, and she emotes like a brick-painfully and without subtlety. Nicolas Cage phoned it in, but at least he seemed to be having fun with the campiness of it all.

The writing was cheesy, with 'badass' and 'funny' lines so clearly demarcated that I half expected a laugh track to kick in. The special effects were just...there. There was one sequence that I think must have been thrown in just so the special effects guys could create it, since it didn't serve the plot at all. The movie was kind of dumb, and didn't really get across what it tried to.

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Good legal advice does not come from those who were disbarred due to killing someone.

The Movie: Double Jeopardy, directed by Bruce Beresford
Recommendation: Broomie
Reason: After watching Fracture, we started talking about the double jeopardy laws that are in place. During our...'discussion', it came up that I hadn't seen this movie.

So, the entire premise of this movie is faulty. I think by now we all know that, but if you're wondering why, Wikipedia has a long answer and IMDB has a short one. Basically, this entire movie could have been avoided with some good detective work. Actually, it's pretty likely that Ashley Judd's character could have come out well ahead if she hadn't grabbed a gun and gone on a crime spree three seconds after getting out of prison. The whole thing came off as a poorly thought out Kill Bill. And really, why would you trust the legal advice of a woman who was disbarred for murder and a legal professor who hasn't been teaching for years? Why not get your dumbass lawyer to clarify exactly what you can do?

I spent a good portion of the movie trying not to compare it to Kill Bill, but really...at one point there was a 'one-inch punch' moment. How can you not see the parallel (even though Kill Bill came out after Double Jeopardy)? My own mind took me right out of the movie and off to a better place where nobody licks Melanie Griffith or tries to pretend that Ashley Judd is an action hero. She's better off playing a suburban housewife in milquetoast dramas.

It was an unbelieveable premise with a cornball script and lame-duck acting. Tommy Lee Jones played his usual wisecracking mentor guy, and most of his scenes were overwhelmed by our out of movie commentary of the "search every doghouse etc." variety. I'm not much more enlightened for having seen this movie, and I don't think very many other people would be either.

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Musical cues for the win.

The Movie: The One, directed by James Wong
Recommendation: Broomie
Reason: I apparently needed to see this martial arts movie, due to overwhelming Jet Li and kicking in the face. Therefore, I acquiesced.

I think Jet Li's underrated as an actor. He's really quite talented, as evidenced by The One and Unleashed in particular. Though I can't see him in some of the roles he's been considered for (Li Mu Bai? Really?), he's good enough that I'd have to give the benefit of the doubt. I'm actually a little excited about the upcoming War, where he's reunited with Jason Statham (whose acting chops have grown considerably since The One. For instance, I can usually understand what he's saying nowadays.).

The One was a sort of midrate sci-fi movie that featured people being kicked in the head a lot. The flexibility of the violence potential of the film can be showcased by the original lead-Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. I have no problem with The Rock-like Jet Li, he's a very likeable actor with excellent physical capabilities. I don't think he could have done quite the same job that Jet Li did with this movie, elevating it from a relatively silly premise to a workable face-kicker. There was a little more than kiddy-pool depth to the characters in the film.

Technically speaking...yay! Bullet time done right for once! Bullet time's a cliche now, no longer the OHMYGODCOOL thing it was when Trinity leapt into the air and the camera did a 180 around her. When The One was released, it was still fresh, and the technique wasn't too terribly abused. I think (*gasp, horror*) it was actually well done. Sue me. This was a neat timewaster.

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Planes, trains and automobiles.

The Movie: Con Air, directed by Simon West
Recommendation: Something Awful
Reason: This was referred to as an uncommonly good action movie.

Some film concepts just sound terrible when you look at them barefaced. An archaeologist who fights nazis? A computer geek jacks into the system and suddenly 'knows kung fu'? An assassin takes care of a little girl after her family is brutally murdered? A planeful of convicts being transported cross-country gets jacked by said cons and mayhem ensues? How could those possibly be good movies? But Indiana Jones, The Matrix, The Professional and Con Air are truly exemplary films. Each has their own appeal-pulpy action goodness, comic book chic, arthouse credentials and in the case of Con Air, a sort of giddy boys-playing-with-toys gleeful insanity that drags you helplessly along in its wake. This is an action movie with the dial racked up to eleven. The plot is simple, the characters broad-strokes, but somehow, it's a gem.

Action and casting, that's where it all comes together. When your script is alright and your technical crew is up to spec, you have to arrange your cast properly. Galaxies collided to bring together the crew that appeared in this film. Steve Buscemi, Danny Trejo, John Malkovich, Dave Chappelle, John Cusack...I could go on. Just take a look at the IMDB link up top there and consider the credentials on display. I'm not sure how this cast was brought together. I just know that without all of them, the whole tenuous setup would have fallen apart.

I've already said this movie cranked the dial up to eleven. It's a guy movie. Scott Rosenberg somehow tapped into the little boy in his brain and thought 'I know what I'd like to see in an action movie! Army guys trying to shoot down a plane while they're hiding behind a bulldozer, and then the plane crashes into Las Vegas! AND there should be a car chase! With police bikes and a firetruck!'. And it works. Somehow, someone made it work. The movie was undiluted teenage-boy-fantasy awesome.

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Last time I saw you, you were trying to kill Ash.

The Movie: Fracture, directed by Gregory Hoblit
Recommendation: Nobody. Free passes!
Reason: Hey look, free passes to a thriller!

I have a problem with movies. I see through twists like nobody's business. Even 'impossible' twists, I usually catch pretty fast. My dad does the same thing. It was pointed out to us both the day we watched The Usual Suspects, and while everyone else we were watching with was stunned, dad and I saw it coming. It seems mandatory now that all thrillers must have a twist ending. It's starting to become annoying, because they're getting more and more transparent. As you may have guessed, Fracture has a twist. I know. I was shocked too.

I wouldn't go to see Fracture because of the story. It was plot-light, the shooting was alright, the directing okay. There were a few awkward transitions, so the editing wasn't necessarily the greatest, but overall, it was decent. The real show came in the writing and the acting. Seperately, they were quite good, together, they were great. This isn't going to win anyone any awards, but I was impressed at how well written the movie was. The script felt very natural.

I don't much like or dislike Ryan Gosling. Generally, I feel pretty neutral towards him. He's taken some interesting roles, some of which have been good, others...not so much. Anthony Hopkins is reliable-he gives a good shot, no matter what. I think in this movie, they worked. Hopkins played a batty engineer to the T, right down to some great little mannerisms and speech patterns. Gosling managed to slip right into his role, and definitely held his own.

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Edit: Title, of course, refers to Embeth Davidz, who appeared in this movie. Yay!

Fantasy smoothie.

The Movie: Eragon, directed by Stefen Fangmeier
Recommendation: Broomie
Reason: "I liked it, but it's not great."

For those who don't know, Eragon is the first of three parts of the Inheritance Trilogy, a series of novels written by a young man named Christopher Paolini. It was published when he was nineteen. That's a critical thing to note, because if the books are anything like the movie, he pretty much wrote a story about how awesome it would be to be a Jedi Knight with a dragon. This was compounded by the costuming department. They could have at least made an effort to distinguish the visual style of Eragon from Star Wars, or at least not put the lead actor in a jedi cloak. Some of the shots were even the same.

I'm not sure whose dead body was unearthed to squeeze John Malkovitch and Jeremy Irons' consent to participate out of them, but it must have been significant. Maybe they killed Jimmy Hoffa, I don't know, but I can't figure out why they decided to be in this movie. Jeremy Irons' should have at least learned his lesson about doing these things after he played Profion in the Dungeons and Dragons movie. Eragon, at the very least, managed to be better than D&D.

Essentially, the plot was a mashup of Star Wars and Dragonriders of Pern (complete with references to riders surviving if their dragon dies, but the opposite not happening), with some Lord of the Rings thrown in for flavor. It was a teenage boy's fantasy, no girls allowed. That's dandy, all well and good, but I prefer a little more umph in my fantasy movies.

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Western Canada. Home of the hotties.

The Movie: The Girl Next Door, directed by Luke Greenfield
Recommendation: Broomie.
Reason: "It's actually not as bad as you think it is."

Okay. So it's not actually as bad as I thought it was. I didn't see it based on how vehement Roger Ebert's review of it was when it was first released. I can't say I necessarily agree with him on all of his points, but there were definitely moments of discomfort for me. I'm no innocent naif-I've done some research on the porn industry after reading some Gloria Steinem awhile back. I'm not opposed to pornography, but I'm sure as hell opposed to how some studios run their business.

Recalling the story of Traci Lords to an uncomfortable degree, Albertan Elisha Cuthbert is alternately sweet and sour as the script demands. When she's Danielle the normal girl, she's watchably adorable. When she's Athena the pornstar...the whole movie seems to go horribly wrong. Parts that are supposed to be funny fall flat at the absolute awfulness of her previous life. It's really, really hard to convince yourself that she was one of Vivid or Candide Royale's girls, or any reputable studio's, when she's being manhandled and herded around by the deplorable Kelly.

The pacing was a little uneven, there were some funny moments, but it was a difficult movie to watch. When it was a teen sex comedy, it was fun. When it was a teen sex comedy trying to poke fun at the seedy underbelly of the already seedy porn industry...it was ugly. Real ugly.

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Zombie movie. No zombies.

The Movie: Assault on Precinct 13, directed by John Carpenter
Recommendation: Me
Reason: I read an article (referenced in one of my previous posts) that called Assault on Precinct 13 John Carpenter's zombie movie. Therefore, had to see it.

So the ghoulies in this film aren't zombies, but a swarm of gang members determined to overrun the police station. Instead of the usual band of mismatched survivors thrown together by chance, we have a witness, some cops, some receptionists and some criminals. The zeds have guns (but they did that in Dawn of the Dead 1978 and Land of the Dead too). The stage is set for a siege, and John Carpenter succeeded in pulling off the claustrophobia and intensity he needed to.

Like Hitchcock before him, Carpenter faked out the censors to keep a critical (and unexpected) death scene in the film. I'll be watching the remake of this movie later in the year, but I really strongly doubt that the 2005 movie includes that particular moment. I have my doubts about the 2005 version in general, especially after seeing this one.

This wasn't such a bad way to kill some time. It's not the greatest movie of all time, but it's likeable enough. As usual, the action and horror directors of the 70's and early 80's pushed the envelope in unanticipated directions. Good for them. I miss that kind of daring in filmmaking.

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How had I NOT seen this yet?

The Movie: The Faculty, directed by Robert Rodriguez
Recommendation: Nobody. In fact, Broomie anti-recommended it to me.
Reason: He thought it was a terrible movie. I saw the director, the cast and the plot and could not see any way it could be a bad movie.

It was not a terrible movie. It was, in fact, as awesome as it looked like it was going to be. It was so awesome it overcame its bad acting, plot holes and soundtrack to become a movie that I must one day own. I laughed, I cried (because I was laughing), and I applauded. From "Symptoms of cancer include confusion and scalp loss" to "Run! Run from Famke Janssen's disembodied head!", I loved it.

I need to be very clear on this. I have a deep and unabiding love for some critically panned movies. Josie and the Pussycats and D.E.B.S. come to mind. The Faculty is my kind of movie. I'm a huge fan of Kevin Williamson's work on Scream and Scream 2, I love pretty much anything Robert Rodriguez puts on film, and Jordana Brewster needs more work. I'm a weirdo, essentially, so when I tell you that this movie was hilarious, keep that in mind.

The special effects were the only falling-down point of the film. There are indicators in The Faculty of movies to come, particularily in the creature effects. The big massive monstery thing at the end (oops, spoiler!) looked a lot like some of the Floops from Spy Kids. Foreshadowing, hmm?

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The great vanishing act.

The Movie: Walk the Line, directed by James Mangold
Recommendation: Pretty near everyone, but Von Gauzen lent it to me.
Reason: "The Man in Black, baby. The Man in Black. What's not to love about Johnny Cash."

Some performances are so incredible that they're attributed to otherworldly phenomenon. Jim Carrey playing Andy Kaufman in Man on the Moon was the first movie I saw with that effect. Joaquin Phoenix provided the second in Walk the Line. He disappears into the character so completely that it's hard not to believe it really is Johnny Cash in there. His portrayal is realistic without begging for sympathy. It's glory comes from the fact that he does not ask the audience to think that the character he's playing is a good person, only that the audience sees them as a person.

There's little to say about the movie that hasn't already been said. Wow. Joaquin Phoenix can sing stunningly well, and he sounds like Johnny Cash when he does it. Not only that, but his performance was so well-considered that he actually improved his singing over the course of the picture. Not to detract from the others who appeared with him, but he really was the best part of the movie.

I had a sort of a blonde moment (I'm allowed to have them, I have a little blonde streak in my hair) while I was watching. The name 'Carlene Carter' stuck in my head, and I came to the realisation that one of my favorite country artists from once upon a time was actually the daughter of June Carter. Excellent deduction on my part, I know. Maybe one day I'll identify all of the Arquettes.

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Temptation. Gets you every time.

The Movie: The Fast and the Furious, directed by Rob Cohen
Recommendation: Me!
Reason: I have an unreasonable like of Vin Diesel.

When you earn your driver's license so you can play a hard-driving badass in a Vin Diesel movie about street racing, it's not such a stretch that four years later you might get a DUI and get kicked off of the most awesomest show on television. Michelle Rodriguez, we salute your badassosity, if not your acting skills. (She can act. I know she can. Just not in The Fast and the Furious.)

Badassosity. That's what this movie's all about. The definition of badassosity, which is a word I made up all by my lonesome, is as follows: Badassosity is a subjective rating system, by which it can be determined how awesome a character is. Being portrayed by Vin Diesel? Maximum badassosity rating. Being portrayed by William H. Macy? No badassosity whatsoever. So the score jumped off of the charts in this movie, due to Vin Diesel, cool guns, awesome cars and some really excellent stuntwork.

There was a poll up on the imdb main page this last week that suggested that perhaps there should be an Oscar for best choreography. That just might be one of the best ideas I've ever heard. Just look at The Fast and the Furious's Last Heist, the Dojo Battle between Jen and Shu Lien in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, the brutally memorable Roxanne sequence in Moulin Rouge...the artistry of some of these scenes elevates cinema just as much as editing and cinematography can, and not all of them are based on spectacle.

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My Brat Pack quest is almost complete.

The Movie: St. Elmo's Fire, directed by Joel Schumacher
Recommendation: Dee
Reason: "You need to see all of the brat pack movies."

So I'm not a complete pop culture fool. I have heard of the brat pack (though I doubt I'd be able to name all of them). As a kid in the 80's, I didn't see many of their movies, though as time goes by I've been correcting that. I've seen seven out of eighteen, which is...alright, I suppose. I'm a fan of Molly Ringwald and Ally Sheedy in particular, though as a kid I adored Emilio Estevez. I like the John Hughes films more than the others. I'm getting into Bret Easton Ellis more and more (that's the fault of Rules of Attraction, though).

But I'm off track. St. Elmo's Fire is a pretty decent film from the middle of the Brat Pack era, made while they were on the rise. The casting is decent-I particularily believed in the realism of Rob Lowe and Demi Moore's characters, though rumor has it that Demi was engaged in a bit of 'method acting' in her part. The story was interesting, well constructed, and the filming techniques were unobtrusive.

I think the real victory for this film were the genuine moments of great, spontaneous sounding dialogue. I'm not sure Joel Schumacher's done as well since then-in fact I know he hasn't. He's responsible for two of the worst superhero movies ever made. The writing he did on St. Elmo's Fire, however, was really great. The realism of the characters' speech really helped build an excellent feeling of comraderie, in turn improving the movie.

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Get. Out.

The Movie: The Amityville Horror, directed by Stuart Rosenberg
Recommendation: Me!
Reason: The original blood-dripping-from-the-walls, Satan-in-the-basement, haunted house movie.

Once upon a time, Ronald DeFeo murdered his entire family and sparked off a moderately famous controversy over whether or not the devil made him do it. A year later, a couple and their kids moved in, and in just over a month, fled screaming in the middle of the night, never to return. Or at least that's how the story supposedly goes. Neither Defeo's claim that the devil encouraged him to kill his family, or most of the Lutz's claims of demonic intervention in their daily lives have ever really been proven. I recently saw an interview with DeFeo, and he just seemed like he was insane.

But...we were discussing the movie, not the real life events that have been woven into the story. There have been sequels. There has been a remake. I want to touch on that for a moment. The differences between the remake and the original are quite marked (but aren't they always?). The two movies share strong similarities, but it's those little differences that come to mind. I miss the 'organic' feel of older horror movies, the natural camerawork and the difference in focus. The remake of Amityville seemed sterile compared to the original, despite including some really excellent scenes (Put your hand on the chopping block). The original had some really nicely assembled shots, but suffered for lack of real tension in some places. I think if you put the two in a blender and mixed them up (keeping Ryan Reynolds as George Lutz), you might just come out with a really good movie.

I got a really strong 'The Shining' vibe from this movie, despite The Shining's release coming a year after Amityville. I think it may have been the axe. Viewed as a classic horror movie, Amityville is a good show. It doesn't quite hold up well nowadays-maybe it's the lack of stingers.

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The shifting of the tides of faith.

The Movie: Luther, directed by Eric Till
Recommendation: Von Gauzen
Reason: "History and Joseph Fiennes, what more could a girl ask for."

On the list of movies I really never thought I'd ever lay eyes on, Luther may well be near the top. I'm no theological scholar, not even much of a history buff, and though I appreciate Martin Luther's impact on modern Christianity, I didn't think there was a lot about his life and times that was movie worthy. People will make a movie about anything and sometimes, that movie is good. That was certainly the case here, but not in the usual 'oh god, must watch again'. Instead, I really appreciated the discussion that grew from watching the movie with Broomie. We talked about the Protestant Reformation, the impact of the printing press, big hats, plenary indulgences, Catholicism, the gospels of the other eight apostles, the Apostle Paul's severe case of massive jerk syndrome and...well, you get the idea.

On a technical front, the movie was as plain as most historical films. It wasn't shot in the MTV-style. There weren't any rapid jump cuts or pounding nu-metal soundtrack. That would be horribly, horribly wrong. The editing of the early part of the film wasn't good at all-there was no sense of flow or continuity, and the camerawork on the opening scene wasn't solid enough to give a good idea of what was going on. It took me about twenty minutes to figure out that it was in fact Martin Luther getting whomped on by lightning. I just shot a glance at the director's resume, and it looks as though a lot of his previous work has been on TV. That does explain a lot of the choices he made in shooting his scenes-the expectations of the audience are different, and therefore TV directors tend to cater to those expectations.

Joseph Fiennes, subject of Von Gauzen's history-geek crush, was very intense as Martin Luther. I don't think he could be properly played any other way, actually. I think it's valid to acknowledge that his costars did excellent work as well-I can't really pick out a single performance that was bad out of the whole group. If the technical side had held up as well as the script and the acting did, this movie could have really shone.

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I'll tear you a new puppethole!

The Movie: Dead Silence, directed by James Wan
Recommendation: Broomie, and everyone else I've ever made watch a dumb horror movie that nevertheless terrifies them by playing to their deepest fears.
Reason: It's a dumb horror movie that nevertheless terrifies me and plays to my deepest fears.

To simplify, the uncanny valley is a term initially used by robotics engineers to refer to the human response to robotics and other non-human creations. Essentially, after a certain threshold, the more human something seems, the more repulsed humans are by it. I like to think that the uncanny valley applies to puppets and dolls, and this explains why they terrify me. Honestly, Dead Silence wasn't all that scary (though neat in its gimmicks), but every time that stupid ventriloquist dummy moved, I shuddered. So there you have it. I'm scared of dolls. I actually looked away during one scene, in which the main character is driving with the stupid dummy in the back of his car. Nothing happened. The doll didn't come to life. But the thought of one of those...things sitting right behind you, just staring...eugh.

Freaky puppets and my own fears aside, the movie didn't offer much in terms of plot. It was straightforward, pretty much what I expected. It reminded me a little of one of my little guilty pleasures, Darkness Falls, without being as 'good' as Darkness Falls. I'm aware that 'good' is subjective, and there aren't many people other than me who were as entertained by said homicidal tooth fairy, but I was. So there. Dead Silence had a similar sensibility about it, a sort of childishness, transposed onto adults. Instead of 'don't go into the dark or she'll get you', it became 'don't scream or she'll get you'.

The acting wasn't phenomenal, nor was it sub-par. There was a Wahlberg brother, who provided the usual sort of comic-relief (and in the last act, sort of spoke for the audience). The lead was...alright. As mentioned, not great. The actress who played his girlfriend was the lead actress from They, another movie that preyed upon childhood fears. Overall, this wasn't a bad way to kill some time, but I'd leave it to the cheap theaters.

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Tastes bland, less filling!

The Movie: The I Inside, directed by Roland Suso Richter
Recommendation: Broomie
Reason: "I am indulging my crush on Sarah Polley."

This movie was originally supposed to star Stephen Dorff, he who slays movies with his awfulness. Thankfully, an actor with talent was located, and Mr. Dorff was spared a paycheck. Ryan Philippe carried off a solid leading performance in The I Inside. That's unfortunate, since even a solid leading performance couldn't help Piper Perabo act a little more convincingly or boost Sarah Polley's performance to the level she's capable of.

The story was initially reminiscent of Memento, with the main character developing symptoms of short term memory loss and trying to cope. It changed gears (quite well, I might add) and reminded me of The Butterfly Effect, and then very strongly of Jacob's Ladder. The similarities were so strong that I was actually surprised by the choice of ending. If the movie had been a little stronger in the story area, I think it could have ably stood with the others I've mentioned (and a little higher than The Butterfly Effect). As it was, the story had trouble supporting the conclusion the end provided, and so the final act became a little questionable.

The story had some really good moments, but for those who are familiar with Jacob's Ladder in particular, at some points it seemed as though The I Inside was just retreading old ground. This was a decent movie, a sort of an attempt at an update to that classic, but it wasn't quite good enough to surpass or match it.

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The courage of standing alone.

The Movie: Hotel Rwanda, directed by Terry George
Recommendation: Von Gauzen
Reason: "It's very sad. You'll cry."

I have had several moments of great misanthropy. Sometimes, I just can't stand the world we live in and the people we're forced to share it with. I was admittedly lax in my knowledge of world news when I was a teenager, and so it's only a decade after the fact that I've learned about the Tutsi massacre. The only person I recall from that time and that place is of course Roméo Dallaire. He was not portrayed in this film (though there was a Canadian UN official played by Nick Nolte.). The lead character is Paul Rusesabagina, played by Don Cheadle. Through the depicted horror of the massacre of the Tutsis, Cheadle's characterization and starkly played humanity kept this from being another movie that made me curse the existence of the human race. (Yes, how emo of me...)

I like Don Cheadle. The first movie I saw him in was Ocean's Eleven, where he played for laughs, but since then I've seen him in a few other movies. He's a good actor, maybe even a great one, who brings a certain amount of humanity to all of his characterizations. It's hard to find a Don Cheadle character that doesn't seem real. He left the rest of the cast in the dust on this film, though Sophie Okonedo did a very good job of her role. I wanted to kick Nick Nolte, just for the hell of it-for some reason I find him pretty annoying, no matter what he's in, and overacting in a scene with Cheadle just made him look worse.

If there was a message to this movie, it was that more than one person has to stand up. Rusesabagina and Dallaire did what they could for the people in their care, using intelligence, sharp wits and every bargaining tool they had. What could have happened if more than a handful of people had organized that resistance? How many lives would have been saved? We don't know, and we can't know. But it's something to think on.

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Gun! Gun! SOMEONE GET A GUN!

The Movie: Psycho, directed by Alfred Hitchcock
Recommendation: Me
Reason: It's Psycho. I haven't ever seen it. Hush.

Anthony Perkins is going to haunt my nightmares. I can tell. Like the closing image of the Blair Witch Project and "then he came unsewn" from Hellraiser, the final shot of Norman Bates staring right into my SOUL chilled me to the core. So far today seems to be fiction versus reality day, and where Open Water was 'eh', Psycho surpassed the yech factor of Ed Gein's crimes. Perkins' portrayal of Norman Bates was so unsettlingly perfect that my skin crawled. He's the very definition of 'he seemed so normal', a sweet-faced, sort of gawky guy. Good god, though, is that faint little smile beneath those soulless black eyes frightening.

I don't have the words to properly describe Hitchcock's filming technique, but some of the shots he assembled were true works of art. People refer to Psycho as his finest picture ever, and I can definitely understand why. The entire infamous shower sequence aside (which was stunning), the 'check-in' scenes created an excellent sense of 'this is not quite right'.

I can't imagine Gus Van Sant's remake coming remotely close to touching the skin-crawling terror that Hitchcock produced. There are a few factors there, but primarily it's casting. Janet Leigh and Anthony Perkins simply cannot be replaced-their performances aren't just iconic anymore, they've transcended to the consideration of legendary. When a film shot in black and white is remembered as being in color, and the stabs of a knife that never once pierced skin onscreen are shuddered at by audiences today, it's just not possible to top it. Screw Van Sant. His casting's a mess (sorry Julianne Moore and Viggo Mortenson, you deserved better than that). I'm sure if I see his remake, I'll have a few more criticisms to throw, but yeah. This one's a classic. Don't touch it.

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This is because you peed and slapped the water.

The Movie: Open Water, directed by Chris Kentis
Recommendation: Me
Reason: I am a fan of shark movies, but scared of sharks.

Open Water's an interesting indie movie that nabbed a few headlines when it was released due to the camerawork and the story it told. In the grand tradition of the Blair Witch Project (which it was very frequently compared to), it was apparently shot with an unsteadied, mid-quality video camera. The result was a very organic feel, as though the camera was a third participant in the proceedings. I think this was the right choice to make, especially for a film based on a true story, but I'm not sure it was entirely used to its fullest potential. The camerawork did engender an uncomfortable feeling of 'I should do something', but at the same time I think it detracted somewhat from the actors performance.

And speaking of that. They had their moments. Once more, to reference Blair Witch, the characters shared the first names of the actors. Their last names were sly nods to Jaws. They were moderately good, but when you're relying on your lead actors to carry a film like this, they need to be solid. Blanchard Ryan and Daniel Travis weren't. When they were good, they were very very good, but when they were bad...well, I didn't stop laughing for a few minutes after Susan screeched "I wanted to go skiing!".

The story was solid, written around the possible events of the story that the movie was based on. The entire tale is conjecture, but the things that happened were plausible. If the actors had been able to keep up a little better, this could've ranked right up there with Jaws.

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The trial of fire.

The Movie: Fire, directed by Deepa Mehta
Recommendation: Me!
Reason: Deepa Mehta's a good director with a good feel for characters.

To understand the title, here's a snippet of the tale it comes from. Mehta's a little heavy on the metaphor in this movie, bringing up the idea of a trial by fire not once, not twice, but three times (and possibly more, those are just the ones I counted). And that's not including the literal one. As usual, she has written interesting, compelling characters for a very good cast. As a director, she's a 'recycler'-the stars of her movies cross over from one to the next.

Nandita Das wasn't as good in Earth as she was in Fire. I suppose her role was a little meatier here, with more room to really display her talent. She's sweet and interesting here, without any significant failings. Though the script is occasionally thin (and repetetive), she's quite solid. Likewise, Shabana Azmi did an excellent job in her role.

This is Deepa Mehta's earliest film, and it's nice to appreciate her growth as a writer and a director. She takes a fairly biased view of men in her first couple of works. Their characters come off as thin and hollow, especially here in Fire. It's an early-career sort of mistake-I look forward to seeing Water to see how far she's come.

-84/365 down, 281/365 to go

Mad scientist showdown!

The Movie: Re-Animator, directed by Stuart Gordon
Recommendation: Len
Reason: I was on an H.P. Lovecraft kick. He obliged. :)

Part of my journey through film this year was intended to teach me more about the genres I'm unfamiliar with, but the other part was to learn and experience more about the ones I do know fairly well. Re-Animator is a staple of the latter-a zombie movie. One of my favorite kinds of film. Though Broomie argues that it's more of an 'undead' movie, that's just his excuse for liking it. He's scared of 'real' zombies.

I initially thought that this was just going to be a goreflick. There's certainly plenty of spurting blood and eyeball popping to keep the gorehounds at bay. I wasn't really expecting that the movie would be funny, but it was. I didn't think the movie could possibly squick me, but it did. Stuart Gordon's certainly familiar with his genre-his directing was very reminiscent of Sam Raimi in many places. Come to think of it, there was a very 'Evil Dead' feel to the movie.

This isn't a movie I'd recommend for everyone. It's not a great piece of film, it's never going to be enshrined anywhere for people to watch it and discuss the themes and 'notes'. But it's a good movie, quirky and funny and reminiscent of Sam Raimi's early greatness at the helm of some pretty gory horror-comedy.

-83/365 down, 282/365 to go

I could forgive them if this was made in the 90's.

The Movie: Stone Cold, directed by Robert Harmon
Recommendation: Dee
Reason: "Tom Selleck TV movie!"

When I watched this, I had to assume that it was made in the mid to late 90's. It was pretty bad, even by those standards, but at least it would have fit there. Unfortunately, it was made in 2005. That's just wrong. Mimi Rogers and Tom Selleck shouldn't be working anymore. I thought she was going to break a hip when she...(oh god, I can't think about it again) sat erotically on his lap. Excuse me, I need to bleach my brain.

My hatred of Mimi Rogers aside (you and Tea Leoni ruined X-Files, bitches!), this just really wasn't a great movie. If you're going to create an homage to noir, or attempt to mimic anything about the noir genre, please put in some effort. A hard drinking lead and some blinds do not cut the mustard. It helps to have villains who don't look like yuppies who've overdosed on their Xanax prescriptions and are about as menacing as a jelly bracelet. Also, the femme fatale should not be pushing sixty and looking seventy.

While we're at it, your script should have good dialogue, and it may be a good idea to pick up some actors who are familiar with the term 'acting'. Looking bored and delivering your lines with vague disinterest isn't 'acting', it's 'phoning it in for a paycheck'. Don't watch TV movies, guys. It's really not a good place to be.

-82/365 down, 283/365 to go

My first Hitchcock.

The Movie: Family Plot, directed by Alfred Hitchcock
Recommendation: I had to watch some Hitchcock, this just happened to get here first.
Reason: See above.

I've never seen a Hitchcock movie before. I used to occasionally see the TV show Alfred Hitchcock Presents, but I didn't really watch it. Family Plot was his last film, apparently, so I'm not certain it's what I should have seen first. Regardless, here we are. I didn't find a lot to be utterly blown away by, but this was a pretty lighthearted, sort of goofy mystery-thriller.

The crossed-wires of the con games made this movie a little funnier than I'd expected. Watching Lost has developed a certain amount of "aww" over con artists (can't help it, Sawyer's the man). So I couldn't really take the movie very seriously. The way it was shot and the engaging characters do make me look forward to seeing more of Hitchcock's work, but it was pretty pedestrian.

-81/365 down, 284/365 to go